I was busy beating myself up for being derivative in this space, and for being a big, fat failure in my other spaces.
Busy fucking up, busy feeling sorry for myself, busy wanting to maintain a cool, cynical demeanor.
For awhile there, I could only do cool and cynical for about 10 hours a day. When I got home, I did frantic and scared. I do a mean frantic and scared.
Today, apropos of nothing, I got an email that reminded me of available space on the lifeboat.
For the first time in at least month, I swear I see the shore.