Amanda and I were very good friends in junior high, going everywhere together, doing everything together. By the time high school started, it became clear that we were headed different directions. I was a dork and she was cool- loved by the upperclassmen and way more sophisticated than I even wanted to be.
We drifted apart, naturally, and I heard bad things about what she was like and what she was doing for a while during and after high school. I saw her a few times post-college, and she wasn't very friendly.
So, when I saw her yesterday, I was less than thrilled. See, lately, I am made of dust- likely to crumble at the slightest provocation or perceived slight. Which is ridiculous, but beside the point right now.
It was pleasantly surprising that the whole encounter was the opposite of what I had imagined. We were friendly- catching up, politely chatting. She gave several little clues that life wasn't so great for her just now, and that she was starting over. She seemed lonely and sort of haunted. Her smile never quite made it to her eyes.
During our conversation we found that we lived in the same town, and worked out at the same gym. She said that she was in need of a new workout partner, and wondered if she could call me.
I told her that she could. I hope that she does- it seemed like she needed a friend. Maybe I do, too.
The universe keeps telling me to get the fuck over myself, already. To drop the baggage, remove the chip, stop thinking that I know how the story will end before it even starts.
I wonder if I finally will.